Steppin Up...

I was looking through some old journals from college, my move to LA and India today, and reading what I wrote... I couldn't believe some of it was me... funny how in each moment things seem so important, and in the next they are so easily forgotten... How those choices that were so tough to make, are now so obvious... ... the little things you used to regret, or tried to avoid, that now make perfect sense.

I found that I seem to go through the same cycles over and over, and though the names may change, I always remain the same.  I still have those moments of doubt, where I question the way I live... the moment to moment decisions, the lack of structure or a plan... and I get to that spot when things aren't quite working out and I'm not sure what to do so I think about giving up faith... and right at that moment is where the magic happens.  It's amazing how when you ask, you receive, when you seek you find, when you knock it is opened unto you... just like many different scriptures say... I can endorse from experience.

I found a poem I had written towards the end of my time in India:

I was waiting for an answer,

Praying for a sign,

I was planning that the stars,

Would all somehow align,

Now I'm left feeling heavy,

With no clue which way to go,

Standing in the middle of a moment,

That I may never know,

Having faith was easy,

It's keeping it that's tough,

Looking for a way to make it,

When there may not be enough,

Can I survive my doubts,

Put my courage to the test,

Find peace in the now,

Before dealing with the rest...

I close my eyes and take a breath,

Give thanks for all I know,

Then continue to walk on,

Allowing the next step to show

Sometimes it's that next step that's so hard to take, the one when you're not quite sure where to step... but when you do, you realize as long as you step, there's always ground underneath your feet... and no matter where you go, you'll always end up there!!


Today's Silver Lining:
"Well I think about all the other ways I could've played, All the other simple moves I could've made, All the other cards that I could've dealt, All the books I didn't read upon my shelf, All the other ways I could've sung my songs, I've realized that none of it went wrong, It was all play, How could it be any other way? Now that the chains are off, I'm free to roam, Everywhere I go, I feel like I'm home, Nothing hides, Everything is shown."  Other Ways - by Trevor Hall