Everything I've Never Wanted

 "Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's greed".~ Mahatma Gandhi

Oh so true... funny how I've been realizing this more and more.  It's a tough thing, this greed stuff.  I've seen many different sides of the coin, and I can understand all of them.  People always wanting more, better, first... fighting against others as if there's not enough... not enough what?  I-phone 4's? Cars? Boyfriends? Jobs?  Food? Time?  We may tell ourselves that, but there is more than enough of everything... (yes even I-Phones, lol!)  I see so many people stressed, (and have been through it many times myself), where they feel the need to keep something for them self  in order to have it... where they feel threatened by someone else who is similar to them, or who is talented at all.   I can think of many times where I've felt if anyone else takes my idea, or job, or cute boy, than I would have to go without... and that's no fun!!

The truth is, we're all on the same team people!  We're in this together, and there's plenty for everyone!!  If someone else takes something I had my eye on, than they're giving me an opening for something better for me. How many times have you wanted something so much one moment, only to find out it wasn't what you wanted in the next?  If you don't get what you thought you wanted, chances are, whoever does, is taking one for the team!! The more we work together to get things, the more we will have... and even realize, that we don't really need much after all!  There's plenty of air and water and food and all that jazz to go around... there's plenty of hugs and high fives and big smiles for everyone too... and the more you give, the more you get!!

I have finally realized how to have it all.  I now know that I can have anything I DON'T want!!  That's right... anything I DON'T WANT!!!  When I just let it go and trust that I can have anything... than I start to become open to all types of things that are so amazing... things I didn't even know I wanted until I got them... things way better than anything I could have asked for!  I skip the wanting, the competing, the anxiety over losing something that's not even mine... and go straight to the gratitude part!!  (which is the best and most fun part anyway!!)  It never gets any less amazing when I get each one of these super cool gifts from life either... in fact it keeps getting better!!  I have everything I've never wanted!!

So, you can have it all... what don't you want??  ;-))


Today's Silver Lining:
"Gotta make more money, Gotta get gotta get there faster than the rest, Knock 'em off the ladder, If they even seem to stand a chance, The big picture, Gotta big white cloud, the big picture, is starin' at me, Starin' at me, Why do I feel so threatened that somebody else will, Take what's mine, Babe it's only rented,  
No one really owns the merchandise. What about what I want, Somehow it got lost somewhere, Inside."  The Big Picture- by Tori Amos

Shoebox of Summers Past

As I open the lid to one of many boxes surrounding me, I see a smile from a summer long gone on an old Polaroid....  I find a pair of 70's sunglasses some random guys in Vegas gave me on my way to California.  I now have a fresh new smile on my face as I remember that time.
I have always filled my shoe boxes up with scraps of things that I never wanted to forget.  Funny the things I hold onto... the things that now represent my connection to something once so profound and real.
Cards, notes, photos, ticket stubs, dried flowers...
to anyone else they would seem like useless rubbish, but to me they are clues to how I got here.... Stripes on my heart that I may have forgotten how I earned until I once again browse through my collection of reminders. Pieces of paper that represent wounds long healed... scars that I now have grown fond of. Wisdom from my earlier days that seems advanced beyond it's years... doodles of dreams that now resemble a story being told in my reality...
memories of moments past that seamlessly transformed into what I am now.
I have everything I need from them, they have become all they ever will... yet I can't seem to say goodbye to many of these old parts.
Letting go has never been one of my strong suits... why start now.
I like my tattered notes and discolored photos stained from ink... I like all of my old love notes and failed housing applications... they may be things of the past, but they keep me aware of how I got here... and so, they're going with me into summers yet to come.




Today's Silver Lining:
"The places that we lived, the living that we did, the places we were put, the things we were giving, the things that they took, they took away our pride, and if they didn't, take our lives, they took away the things that made us feel alive, oooo what have we become, what have we become, oooo how did this become, how did this become."  Anni Kookoo- by Xavier Rudd
 
 

Love at First Flight

“Come to the edge.”

“We can't. We're afraid.”

“Come to the edge.”

“We can't. We will fall!”

“Come to the edge.”

And they came.

And he pushed them.

And they flew.

~Guillaume Apollinaire

Life is calling us.  Love beckons us to come.
It seems risky to walk towards it... closer to the edge, because we don't believe we can fly... until we do... then try to stop us... there's no way to fall out of that kind of love. 
I'm soaring higher than ever...until tomorrow.
See you among the stars.


Today's Silver Lining:
"I'm looking to the sky to save me, Looking for a sign of life, Looking for something to help me burn out bright, I'm looking for a complication, Looking cause I'm tired of trying, Make my way back home when I learn to fly...Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone, Try and make this life my own."
Learn to Fly- by The Foo Fighters

Not Knowing, Just Going

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

It's about that time again... time for change.  Time to let go, to let it be and wait and see.  No matter how many times I move on... no matter how many times things keep getting better... no matter how many times I say goodbye and hello... goodbye never gets any easier.  Life is a choice though, and I choose to keep going... never really knowing where, always happy when I get there.

People always ask me how I do it, why I do it... and I guess it's as easy for me as whatever everyone else does is for them.  It's just where I am, and where I'm going... and even without really knowing, I always feel the wind blowing me on my way, hear the signs calling me onward... and this time is no different.  As I was packing up my apt today, a Tom Petty song started playing...


Today's Silver Lining:
"Broken skyline, which way to love land, Which way to something better, Which way to forgiveness, Which way do I go.  It's time to move on, time to get going, What lies ahead, I have no way of knowing, But under my feet, bad grass is growing, It's time to move on, it's time to get going."  Time To Move On- by Tom Petty

(hard to find this song, this guy has some random stuff in his apt, but it works, lol!)

A Little Crazy

Sometimes in life it's hard to see things as they are.  We'd rather see them as we want them to be... or as we create them to be.  We get stuck in our patterns... in our minds, in our routine.  Things that don't fit into our story we dismiss as wrong or bad.  We don't allow ourselves to do as we feel, but rather what we think.  We worry, we conform, we repress and stress.

Things are always changing, evolving and growing... but it's a struggle to let go, and go with the flow.

There's no way to know it all... but as things happen, whatever you need to know, you will.  There's no picture perfect ending... no right way to do things... and as I was listening to this song today, I realized something...

"We're never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy"

We need to break the rules, the habits, the lines we follow.  We need to take chances, fall... and get up and fall harder.  We need to feel it all, try it new, learn again, be free.  We need to love so immensely and intensely despite the fears that tell us to hold back, to wait a little longer, to slow down... because things are only speeding up.  We need to trust ourselves and know that we can only create, and never destroy our lives... every risk, every move, every passionate embrace, is what makes up our world... and in order to survive we really do just need to go for it... and maybe even get a whole lotta bit crazy!

Today's Silver Lining:

"In a world full of people there's only some want to fly, Isn't that crazy, No we're never gonna to survive unless we are a little crazy, No no never survive unless we get a little bit,  And then you see things, The size of which you've never known before."  Crazy- by Seal

There it is Here...

No matter where you go, here you are,
No matter how you grow, you're never far,
From where you were and still will be
From who you is for all to see.

If you always seek, you never hide,
The question burning deep inside,
An answer alone can't fully provide,
We seek the journey not the ride.

So saddle up and run run run,
Faster faster towards the sun,
Be the light, stay shiny gold,
Because the new is still the old.

Truth is never scary when,
We see that it has already been,
So choose the love, don't store the fear,

Because if it's there... then it is here.


Today's Silver Lining:
"I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold, I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good." Pursuit of Happiness- by Kid Cudi