Once upon all the time, something challenging happens, followed by something amazing...

Monday, February 11, 2013

All Right

I am approaching 30.  Funny how just typing that brings up certain ideas about what that means.  The thing is, for most of my growing up life, I have measured things in finite terms.  I should be doing this by a certain age, I should be doing that a year after college, or I should have acquired ______ by this time.   When I was younger I would have bet money that by the time I was 30 I'd be married with kids, living in a magical house by the ocean with my flying car hovering in the driveway.   That is not the case.  However, I could have also never dreamt up most of the amazing things that have happened through the highs and lows of my life.

As I was sitting here alone in my comfy little bungalow in Hollywood tonight, thinking about too many things… As I often do… I had one of those 'Aha…hahaha' moments.  I realized the best things in my life have come from plans I never made, thoughts I'd never imagined, people I'd never hoped to meet, places I didn't want to go, times when I lost control and accidents along the way.  The funny part is, it was all the plans I've made, people I've sought out, dreams I've chased, expensive ideas and perfectly thought up scenarios I felt had failed, that got me there.  AND it was always the way I felt in the end that made the best things so absolutely unforgettable.

You see, it's good to have goals, dreams, plans, ideas… as long as you are okay with the fact that they just might lead you to something that may not be what you have pictured in that very stubborn little mind of yours. 

1+1 may = friends
x & y may lead to the beginning
Doe ray me may bring you back to you…
The one you want may be taken, and you're left with the one you never knew you wanted
You may feel totally lazy, but only to remind you how much you've been doing
It could be hard, but only to make things easier
It might make you cry, but only because it makes you smile
It may be late, but only because it's waiting on you
It may bring you down, but only so you can go back up
You may feel weak, but only so you can be strong
It may seem that all the wrong things keep coming at the right time or that you keep getting all the right things at the very wrong time…

BUT you can only be doing, getting, being, knowing, wanting, learning, or attracting ALL the right things at the right time to show you what's wrong or what's right.  ALWAYS.  And how do you know? By the way you feel.  Does it feel good or bad?  That's how you can figure out why that experience is happening and act accordingly... Which may then change the way you feel and thus change your mind.  That's okay too.  The feelings will stick with you as long as you need them to in order to understand what they're showing you, that's how they roll.

I am almost 30.  I had a plan, I had visions, I had goals, I had expectations of how things would look in my life by this age.  I had strict rules for how much I should have accomplished in each area of life.  I had boundaries on what I would and wouldn't still do at this age.  I had deadlines.  I had judgments and excuses all ready to go if those deadlines weren't met.  I decided it's time to free myself of those.

I now have experiences that have given me strength, friends that bring me joy, scars that grant me compassion, failures that have brought me hope, awareness that creates gratitude, and am working on the faith to allow things to happen right on time, just when I least expect them.  And that makes everything feel all right... at least right now.

Today's Silver Lining
"Take the road we take, Then we improvise, When the road it breaks, There will be surprises, Live to grow with fate, Wake to see your Time, Catch your heart with mine, You and I decide, Where to take our journey, how high to fly, love to love our turning, You and I, you and I." Garden- by Sean Hayes

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