Once upon all the time, something challenging happens, followed by something amazing...

Friday, April 13, 2012

Wherever You Are

For those who know me, you know that I tend to move around a lot.  I love to explore, adventure and learn.  While most are afraid of change, I live for it.  However, as I get older, I do start to wonder if I'll ever grow roots.  I have started to doubt my constant craving to go where the wind blows me, and wonder if I'd be better off staying put for a while.  I question why I'm always so quick to follow my heart to new places on nothing more than a feeling.  And, have even done something one should NEVER do... compare myself to others.  Yet, here I am again, despite those things, playing with the idea of following my heart into the unknown.

Tonight I was at a coffee shop, sitting outside, drinking a coffee, reading, happy as a clam.  I was thinking about how many reasons I have to love Los Angeles. So many, and counting.  As I was packing up to leave, a man commented on my backpack. He and his friend actually asked me where I go to school, lol. (Mind you it is a bright blue backpack with dinosaur looking spikes all over it!)  We got to chatting, and before long we were talking about life.  I won't get into details, but at one point his friend said to me out of the blue, "I can tell already that you're not one who is afraid of change, but don't be afraid of change. Always go with your heart. It will always bring you where you need to be. And this is coming from a stranger, but I can just tell you need to hear that for some reason." Angels people, they don't always have wings, or float in on clouds... So pay attention.

"Always go with your heart. It will always bring you to where you need to be."  There is no chance of getting lost.  Always. In fact, wherever you are, is exactly where you need to be. How can you be sure? Because you are there.  Oh, it's not where you want to be?  Even better, move.  Go to somewhere you DO want to be.  Not that easy?  Well, when you are needed somewhere else, it will be.  Believe me on that.  Just remember to trust how you feel, not where you are.  Your heart will always be more accurate than the picture in your mind of what it should look like.

I was in Vegas earlier this week and I came home to a book from my mommy and daddy, as I still call them, titled, Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You.  It's a children's book, but it was more informative to me than any book I had read in a while, and there have been quite a few.  I love the whole book, in fact I cried from the first page to the second time I flipped to the last one, but my favorite passage is this: "So hold your head high and don't be afraid to march to the front of your own parade.  If you're still my small babe or you're all the way grown, my promise to you is you're never alone. You are my angel, my darling, my star... and my love will find you, wherever you are."  And trust me, I read very carefully just to be sure, and this love will find you, ah-ny-where.

Which brings me to where I am now. Here. On this page, in this place, writing these thoughts, grateful to feel this loved.  Not only by my amazing parents, but by my amazing self.  Because I realized that it was me who got me here, and it is me who will get me there and I have me to thank for where I have been... BUT no matter where I go, no matter where I am, that love will also guide me and remind me that home is ALWAYS where the heart is.  And the heart is where the love is.

Today's Silver Lining:

"Darling you're with me, always around me.  Only love, only love.  Darling I feel you, under my body.  Only love, only love.  Give me shelter, or show me heart  Come on love, Come on love.  Watch me fall apart, watch me fall apart."  Only Love- by Ben Howard

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