Just Do It

All day long I was feeling unmotivated.  I didn't want to wake up at 7 for work.  I didn't want to go to yoga after work.  While I was doing yoga, there were asanas I didn't want to do.  I didn't want to write this blog.... 

Yet all day long I did these things, and was always grateful I did!  Once you take that first step, make that first move, you're doing!  The thoughts about how hard it is to do something are much more challenging to overcome than the actual act of doing itself... things always seem much more daunting until they are done!  Whenever I take a long trip, I'm not exactly sure what's gonna happen.  I have a one way ticket, some cash and a destination, and not much after that... but as soon as I do it, it is done.  The next step comes, my plan creates itself, and before you know it, I'm on a flight home, ready to do it again!!  Even though sometimes you may still struggle through it, you can feel good about the fact that you actually did it!!  Doing keeps us in the flow, it keeps things coming our way, and it gives us more to be grateful for!  Look, I'm doing it write/right now... and I love doing it, it's so great!!! I'm so glad I did it!! 

So to quote Brian Johnson: "As the Greek goddess Nike says... 'JUST DO IT!!'"

See, that wasn't so tough, and I'm already done!! :-) Yay!

If you want to feel like a kid in a candy shop, check this out... I seriously felt like I was in a Wonkaland of Wisdom the first time I read through it!!!  So much yummy stuff... ;-)))  http://PhilosophersNotes.com

Today's Silver Lining:

"You find your faith has been lost and shaken, You take back what's been taken, Get on your knees and dig down deep, You can do what you think is impossible, Keep on believing, don't give in, It'll come and make you whole again, It always will, it always does... Love is unstoppable."  Unstoppable- by Rascal Flatts

Will-ing

Life.  Ya just gotta love it... I know it can be annoying to hear positive things when life isn't going your way, so if that's you... go ahead and think of 5 things you're grateful for and if it's not you, you can do it anyways.... go ahead, I'll wait...
1._______________________________________________________
2._______________________________________________________
3._______________________________________________________
4._______________________________________________________
5._______________________________________________________

Good!!  I read somewhere it is scientifically proven that you cannot have feelings of gratitude and depressing ones at the same time, so hopefully we got that out of the way because I have a feel good story to tell :-)

So tonight I was doing yoga in the little studio that is in my apartment complex, when I heard someone:

"Anyone here?"

I was in Warrior II and just stayed there yelling back:

"Yep!"

The mans voice shot back again:

"Okay, thanks, it's security, just checking."

I always close the blinds to the room so if people are at the pool or working out, they don't have to watch my routine... and even though the door is open, I'm just out of view, so people never know I'm in there at first.  It's actually funny because people will be talking  or fighting or singing to themselves, then I'll do something that makes noise and they shut right up... lol... opppsie, they didn't realize I was listening!  Anyways, back to my story.

So I keep doing my flow, and a few asanas later I hear security again:

"Anyone here now?"

I guess they really wanted to keep tabs on what was going on, so I replied:

"Still here!"

Then the man walked into the room... sounds like something scary is gonna happen... he was wearing black leather gloves and a black knit hat... (insert scary music here)... AND THEN... sorry to let you down, but all that happened was he informed me his clicker to get into the business center wasn't working and asked if he could use mine.  Of course I let him, and when he came back he said mine wasn't working either.  I looked at the clock and it was 10:34pm and the business center closes at 10:00pm.  He was so upset, it was his first night on the job, he was so worried he was gonna look irresponsible, but no one had told him it closed!  He had left his folder with all his paperwork in there, and he had another job in the morning at 8am, he didn't know what time the locks would open and he lived 30 miles away.  I felt for the guy, I swear he was on the verge of tears.  He didn't know what to do, he kept saying that this couldn't be happening.  I told him not to worry, that we'd figure it out.  I got him paper from my apt to write down his hours, then told him in the morning I would unlock the door first thing and get his folder, copy the info onto the paper and drop it off to the office.  He was so grateful, he kept thanking me and going over the plan to verify. "You are seriously an angel sent from God, really."  (tell me something I don't know, hehe)  I asked him his name, "Will, Will Woods." He gave me his #, and his wife's # just in case.  He just called me to confirm again... haha.

The thing is I am grateful to him as well.  The fact that I was not only able to be in the right place at the right, (late), time... but the fact that I was able to be the right person.  That I was able to say yes I will to Will... and not only say yes, but be grateful for being able to help.  I know this sounds soooooo cheesy, but it is such a gift when life uses us to be angels for people.  When we are able to see the opportunity to be a part of someone else's moment, and allow them to help us see beyond ours.  I'm not sure why it made me feel so extremely grateful, but somehow the synchronicity of the whole event made it so much more to me than just a favor... I mean, his name, Will.  The fact that I was doing yoga at 10:30 at night.  The way he seemed so kind and yet lost.

There is no way to describe the significance, no logic to explain the magnitude, but for me it meant more than I can say... which is how most of the moments of our lives are.  To us they can mean something totally different than they do to anyone else.  It reminded me that people may not always remember what you said, but they'll never forget how you made them feel... so to do my best to make everyone feel the way I'd want to feel in their shoes.  It also reminded me how important it is to pay it forward... life is a big chain of moments like this that we link together by being aware and willing... and after this, I'm sure both Will & I will!

Today's Silver Lining:

"You don't owe me a thing, I've been there too, Someone once helped me out, Just the way I'm helping you, If you really want to pay me back, Here's what you do, Don't let the chain of love end with you." The Chain of Love- by Clay Walker

Life Lemons

I read a quote this morning in my daily word from Rev Run that said:

"When life hands you lemons, make guava juice and make em wonder how the hell you did it!"

Figuring out what to do with the 'lemons' that we are handed by life, has been a long running debate.  There have been many different ways created to make the most of these sour fruits we are handed, and there are many different perspectives on which approach to take.  Here are a few of them:

As I was reading through a bunch of the quotes I realized that I could think of someone I know who would use each one of these theories... and also that the one that seemed obvious to me wasn't listed anywhere.  There were lots about revenge or ways to use the lemons, but as I searched through, I never came across what I have found works best when life hands me lemons.

It made me realize how many ways there are to use these life lemons... so why is it that these lemons seem to inspire the feeling of victimization.  I get it, 'lemons' are challenges, struggles that life puts before us... but aren't those useful as well... aren't those what force us to get stronger, march onward, try harder, rework things and stay at the top of our game?  Lemons are versatile... and though they may be a bit 'sour' alone... they can transform into so many amazing things!

While there are so many things to do with these lemons we are handed... I have found there is no one perfect way to use the lemons... you have them to use however you please. Though it is nice to make lemonade, or even pie... life's lemons may come at times where they are needed for other things, so the way they are utilized will change... whether it's fish and chips you have, or a glass of water... only you can know what to do with your lemons when you get them.  Which leads me to my solution for this lemon situation... in my humble opinion, no matter what you do with the lemons...

"When life hands you lemons, SAY THANKYOU!"

I mean, it's only polite.  Life is giving us a gift, and although it may not be what we wanted, it's the thought that counts!  Besides, you may not use the lemons right away, or even love them at the moment... but you never know what they'll be used for down the road!

Today's Silver Lining:

"How bout getting off of these antibiotics, How bout stopping eating when I'm full up, How bout them transparent dangling carrots, How bout that ever elusive kudo, Thank you India, Thank you terror, Thank you disillusionment, Thank you frailty, Thank you consequence, Thank you thank you silence."  Thank You- by Alanis Morissette

You Say Tomato... I Say God

It's funny as I get older, and read and learn more, how much the word God seems to expand.  Such a loaded word... is God a he, she, it, everything or nothing.  People have very strong opinions on this, so I am very cautious when using that word.  When I say God, I mean love... but some people may judge it as something else they've defined it as from their own experience.  There was a great article on the many explanations of God I read by Duane Elgin: 

"Buddhists state that the entire universe arises freshly at every moment in an unceasing flow of interdependent, co-origination where everything depends upon everything else. Hindus proclaim the entire universe is a single body that is being continually danced into creation by a divine Life force or Brahman. Taoists see the Tao as the “Mother of the Universe,” the inexhaustible source from which all things rise and fall without ceasing. Confucians view our universe as a unified and interpenetrating whole that is sustained and nourished by the vitality of the Life force or ch’i. Christians affirm that God is not separate from this world but continuously creates it anew, so that we live, move, and have our being in God. Muslims declare the entire universe is continually coming into being, and that each moment is a new “occasion” for Allah to create the universe. Indigenous peoples declare that an animating wind or Life force blows through all things in the world and there is aliveness and sacred power everywhere. And a stream of Western thinkers portray the universe as a single, living creature that is continually regenerated and is evolving toward higher levels of complexity and consciousness. Beneath differences in language, a common reality is being described—the universe is an emergent system of which we are an integral part. 

God, such a small word... such a big meaning... one that we create the evolution of with each breath.  :-)


Today's Silver Lining:

"Oh Jesus, I love you, And I love Buddha too, Ramakrishna, Guru Dev, Tao Te Ching and Mohammed, Why do some people say, There there is just one way, To love you God and come to you, We are all a part of you.  You are unnameable, You are unknowable, All we have is metaphor, That's what time and space are for.  Is the universe your thought? You are and you are not, You are many, You are one, Ever ending, just begun."  I Love You And Buddha Too- by Mason Jennings

Show and Tell

It's been a year since I was out exploring; swinging through trees and floating down rivers... I kinda blogged in Asia, but India got left out.  I was reading my old journals and decided to post some things I wrote, since I never seemed to do that on the road. (...that, and I have nothing else to write about at the moment... besides this unexplainable burning desire to travel again!  What can I say, I'm a gyspy at heart!!)
So, it's show and tell time, circa India:

Three Little Birds
I feel as if I've finally grown,
Thanks to things I'd seen,
But now been shown.
Wisdom this deep grew firm and strong,
Which sprouted beauty,
Which inspired song.

I feel as if I've finally let go,
Of future worries,
I may never know.
Discarding weight this heavy made me light,
Which healed my wings,
So I took flight.

I feel as if I've found some grace,
In moments past,
But not erased.
A feeling this hot left a burn,
Which formed a scar,
Which helped me learn.

I know I've finally seen loves face,
In wisdom,
Letting go,
And grace.
I feel the peace within my soul,
which makes me us,
part of the whole.


Sparkle-In
Wind blows my hair like ruffled feathers,
Another storm my soul weathers,
I feel the sky's blue, as I'm swimming through it,
And as I pass the sun, I'm singing to it.
A love so true is what I sought,
When the gusts were tough, but still I fought.
And now I even smell the bliss,
I blow the universe a big wet kiss,
I thank my God for showing me how,
To feel the way I feel right now,
And though the light, I won't always see,
It continues to shine, inside of me.

How
Questioning myself.
Questioning you too.
I don't know how to feel.
I don't know what to do.
I want this all to end.
But first it must begin.
There's no way to fight this war.
But I'm hoping that I win.



Awake
It wasn't until I surrendered,
That victory was one/won...
It wasn't until my story ended,
That my world begun...
But this fight's not over yet,
It wasn't meant to be,
I give my eyes a rest,
And then I'll really see...
It's everything I ever wanted,
It's nothing I thought it was,
But I can't read the ending,
Still stuck at the because...
To wake up, I close my mind,
Now go far away...
Into truth within myself,
Where the only thing to say...
Is nothing.


Flowing
How do I capture right now?
I need to do it somehow.
This peace smothered over my soul,
That's melding me into the whole.
This beauty I cannot describe.
This feeling of being alive.
No device can capture it's face.
No words can describe its embrace.
Floating along on infinite grace,
Nothing changes as we glide place to place.
I don't want to blink it away,
Afraid if I leave it won't stay.
I breathe it in, and give thanks for this now,
And I realized I figured out how.


Today's Silver Lining:

"Tell me did you sail across the sun, Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded, And that heaven is overrated, Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star, One without a permanent scar, And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there.  Now that she’s back from that soul vacation, Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey, hey, mmmm.....She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo, Reminds me that there’s room to grow, hey, hey, hey, hey."  Drops of Jupiter- by Train

Lost In Translation

 Since India I've loved chanting and listening to these songs with words I don't always know the meanings of... not just Indian music, but all types.  I can feel what they mean... sometimes more accurately than songs I know the words to.  There is actually a song that I keep thinking of by Gloria Estefan, that says, "I tried to say I love you, but the words got in the way."  Sometimes there are things you experience, feel, or see that words can't express... and when you try to use words, you lose the meaning in translation, the words get in the way.  There are many things like this, and I am slowly, (very slowly... very verrrry slowly), learning that I don't need to try to explain everything I learn or go through to people.

My guru, Amma has a great way of explaining this situation. When someone asked Amma to describe the experience of God, Amma said that it is not possible to adequately put into words the taste of sugar to one who does not know the meaning of the word “sweet” . One has to taste sugar to understand sweetness. Similarly, God is pure experience, beyond the mind and words.

We can try to explain sugar to people all we want, but eventually they will taste it themselves and only then will they understand... however, we don't need anyone else to know anything to enjoy the taste for ourselves!!

Today's Silver Lining:

Ide were were nita ochun
Ide were were
Ide were were nita ochun
Ide were were nita ya
Ocha kiniba nita ochun
Cheke cheke cheke
Nita ya
Ide were were

This is a Yoruba mantra (from Africa). It's a mantra to Goddess Oxum (ochun), the goddess of the rivers and water falls. Her color is yellow and she's also this lovely mother that looks over all her children. It loosely translates to say, "Flaunt your jewelry Oshun, flaunt it well mama"
 

It's All Maybe, Baby

Maybe: adv- An uncertainty, possibly, perhaps

may: verb- to indicate ability or capacity     be: verb- To exist in actuality; have life or reality

The world is made up of moments that may be... everything is a maybe... which may be something that's hard to let be.

Everything, every second, every fact, every breath is something that merely has the ability to exist, right up until the moment it does.  There is no such thing as 'definite' in any moment other than now.  The future we think we can control, even in 5 minutes... is still a just maybe.  The things we build and save for, the battles we fight, the dreams we chase, are all for moments that may be. 

I have been thinking about things that we use to try to control what may be...plans, expectations and logic.  For instance, in highschool they tell you to work hard, and get scholarships for college, so you can go to a good school ad get a good job.  Yes, that may be, but for me and may people I know that was not.  So when you create this plan based on that, which leads you to this expectation, the logic is it should be.  So when it is not, it feels like what is, may be wrong.  That's where I realized something... if anything is, it is not a may be, there is no chance that it may or may not be, it is... and anything that is, whether it's a car crash or a wedding... is more real and true and perfect than a maybe, because it is.  It may be a hard concept to grasp, but anything that is, is... haha. There is nothing to worry about, or contemplate. 

It's a fine line in life, to have a goal, and work towards it, while not being attached to what may be and accepting whatever is... Trying to make a foundation while being okay if a house is never built there, or the blueprints change and you have to start over... To be active in this moment, progressing in this moment, while doing something that only may be... To trust in what you're doing, that it will be, what it may be. The more I learn about how to get from what may be, into what is, from perspectives of logic, ie... get a career, build a name, have a family... vs faith, ie, trust yourself, take a chance, ask and you will receive... the more I realize they're both right because they both are.

No matter what you believe will work to get you to what is, will... it just may not be the is you think it may be... but then again, maybe it is!

Today's Silver Lining:

"When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, what will I be? Will I be pretty, will I be rich?  Here's what she said to me.  Que Sera, Sera, Whatever will be, will be, The future's not ours, to see, Que Sera, Sera, What will be, will be." Que Sera, Sera- by Doris Day