Dis- disconnected

I haven't had a phone now for a few days.  It was working for spurts, but mostly it's just been dead... and now it's completely broken.  So that means no texts, or calls... in or out... no sense of connection to the outside world.  Then again... the longer I go the more I think I may be too connected through this to all the noise coming in from out there... and too disconnected from with-in.   I rely more on my blackberry than I do on myself... it calls people, texts them, keeps me busy, remembers things, wakes me up, does my math, reminds me when I have things to do... and now I've almost forgotten how to do those things on my own!

Don't get me wrong, I still plan on having a phone, but without one I've definitely had to become more aware again!  I've also filtered out a lot of noise that keeps me distracted from the moment at hand.  It's funny how easy it was to get so attached to these small little go getters.  Now you can't hang out with someone without texting and emailing... it's hard to stay in the now when we have the past and future ringing at our fingertips. 

The thing is... life goes on.  If someone needs to reach you, they will... and vice versa.  All of this stuff we rely on so much, we lived without for thousands of years and life still worked... and the funny thing is, I feel like the easier it gets to be connected... the less connected we become.  Rather than calling to say happy birthday, we write it on facebook... rather than talking, we text... and yes, it is easier and more convenient at times... but it just seems like everything is so easy that nothing seems to hold the value that it used to... and it goes far beyond the way way communicate!!  There is an old saying that I can't seem to remember exactly... but it's something along the lines of, the more effort you put into something the greater it's value.  Now, there's not much value left... we click, type and send all of our conversations from the convenience of wherever we are... we stay "in touch" with more people that we know less about... it's very strange when you think about it.

I have a friend who is always saying how much they love everybody via text and facebook, but they never have time to talk on the phone or even hang out in person... and it seems like I've fallen into that a bit.  This month I've been trying to make more of an effort to actually call people, send them a card on their birthday, invest more real time in my real friends... and spend less cyber time online and with my fingers too busy texting to wave hello to the neighbors... and as it turns out, this disconnection actually started with my phone... and without it, I'm actually feeling like I'm being dis-disconnected.

I'm having to spend more time thinking, remembering...talking to people is more of an effort because I have to find their number and find a phone to call from, so I do more that is important and less that is available... and although it may not seem like a lot... it is slowly making me value things more!  I've realized, the more that becomes available, and the easier it is to access, the less time we spend on what's important... I know I easily become distracted by random people's thoughts that pop up in my cyber life and start to pull me out of the moment and into thoughts of what if!!  People can create an image of themselves that is as glamorous as they'd like and leave out any details they choose... then rather than talking to our friends about what's going on, we talk about what we saw on this facebook page, and become a part of the illusion.  We are able to control too much of our interaction and we spend our time wondering if we should text 'hey' or 'hello', rather than just saying what we feel... our lives are becoming too calculated and less organic. 

Maybe it's time we all took a step back to our roots... used our mouths to speak rather than our fingers, put our phones down long enough to look around at the day... helped people plant a real garden rather than build their imaginary farms on facebook... get back to reality!  So although text messaging, and the cyber communities are nice to have... we need to remember to make time for the real world, with or without our cellphone!


Today's Silver Lining:

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"I'm tired of postcards, especially the ones with cute dogs and cupids, I'm tired of calling you, missing you, dreaming I've slept with you, Don't get me wrong I still desperately love you, Inside this weary head I just want us to love instead, But I was just thinking and thinking, merely thinking, I think about long distance rates instead of kissing you babe, And time is running me still, If I wait for you longer my affection is stronger, I was just thinking - I was just thinking"  I Was Just Thinking- by Teitur